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On The Origin Of The Species (according to monkeys)

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
And talked of things that were supposed to be.

Said one to the others, “See here, you two!
There’s a rumor afloat that can’t be true.

That man descended from our lofty race,
The very idea is a great disgrace.

No monkey ever deserted his wife
And starved her babies and ruined her life;

And whoever heard of a mother monk
Leaving her babies with others to bunk,

Or passing them on from one to another
Till they couldn’t tell who is their mother.

And another thing you’ll never see
Is a fence around a coconut tree

And letting all the coconuts go to waste,
Forbidding all other monks a taste.

Why, if I put a fence around a tree,
Starvation would force you to steal from me.

And here’s another thing a monk won’t do,
That is go out at night and get on a stew;

Then use a gun, or club or a butcher knife
To take another poor monkey’s life.

Man may have descended, the ornery cuss,
But, brother, he didn’t descend from us.